Renewal, Rebirth, Restart

March 29 to April 4, 2026

Looking back at this week, I’m not exactly sure what happened.  Days are slipping into weeks that are slipping into months and things feel like they are standing still all at the same time.  I know I’ve had some more anger this week and some boundaries revealed as well as more truths.  I think the biggest lessons I learned is that just because people might be awake and aware, they aren’t necessarily right for me or safe in the ways I need them to be.  I also learned that we do fall back into old patterns and despite that being frustrating, sometimes it is necessary to show us how far we’ve come and how much we’ve grown and that we can sense when things are truly aligned.

I’m writing this in the week following this timeframe.  I had already typed up a lot of the messages and how they arrived earlier, but somehow, my computer lost connection to my drive and all of the information disappeared, forcing me to start again.   As frustrating as that is, I understand that this gives me an opportunity to do things over a second time with a little more perspective and sometimes that is a blessing in disguise.

The messages I received were coffee, tax refund, but wait-there’s more, MK Ultra, don’t blink, breaking through the shell, first memory, and Artemis.  I don’t recall if there were any recurring themes, but if there were, I wasn’t tracking them.

Coffee – This message showed up two real life examples and in a tv show.  In one real life example, I thought I wanted a coffee but decided not to have one.  The other example, was me thinking again that I wanted a coffee, having two of them, and then regretting that decision for the rest of the day.  The tv show was a cartoon in which a number of characters received a tax refund of $300 each and one of them decided to spend his on 300 cups of coffee.  I used to not enjoy the smell or taste of coffee until I became preggers.  I started drinking iced cappuccinos full of sugar and “energy” during my pregnancy (I know, I know, it’s not healthy for the baby) and then once my daughter was born, I switched to coffee and pretty much haven’t looked back since.  Recently, it’s starting to lose its appeal.  I don’t find it gives me that much of a boost, the price has skyrocketed (along with everything else), the taste isn’t the same and I guess what once felt like a necessity is slowly losing it’s appeal.  I guess that’s what happens when we outgrow things.  I think the message here has to do with finding something to replace this once warm, comforting, energy boost.

Tax refund – This message showed up in real life and in a tv show.  In real life, we filed our income tax and all are thankfully receiving a refund.  The tv show, mentioned above, had a character spend his tax refund on a fake medal to make himself feel more important.  Tax refunds are nice to receive, especially if the alternative is paying the government money.  However, what my accountant told me was that getting a refund means that the government has your money sooner and is hanging onto it, preventing you from doing what you like with it.  I know many people see tax refunds as a way to save for a vacation or as free money to spend on a treat, and that’s fine if that’s your thing.  I usually try to do the practical thing with any excess funds that come my way and put it towards paying down debt or using it on regular expenses.  I’m not against treating myself, but I have to feel that the expense is worth the reward.  Maybe the message here is to use this money wisely.

But wait, there’s more – This message came to me in a real life situation and in a Facebook card reading message.  The real life situation involved me borrowing a number of boardgames from my parents.  My partner and I were getting bored with tv and were looking for something else to do.  I asked my parents for some games and in their typical overly generous fashion, gave me almost all of their collection gathered over 55 years.  As I was hauling them into my house in multiple trips, I thought I was done, only to realize there was another load to haul.  The Facebook card reading had a message about how good things are going to get.  The message implied that you will think things can’t get any better, and then they do.  I guess this is a pretty optimistic message if viewed in a positive way.  Alternatively, the universe could provide me with multiple challenging obstacles and this message could be seen as a negative omen.  But, I pride myself in trying to see the best in others and in situations, so I’m going with the positive outlook on this one.

MK Ultra – This message showed up on a Facebook post and on a show.  The post was from a spiritual group that I’m part of and had a member wondering if they were part of the CIA’s MK Ultra program.  The show is one in which the credibility of conspiracy theories is put to the test.  MK Ultra was a secret CIA program run from the 50’s through the 70’s that used drugs and processes on vulnerable people to see if mind control was possible. The show focused less on the drugs used, and more on whether or not the use of hypnosis could make the program successful.  Now, I am not for the unethical use of hypnosis in any way, shape or form.   However, the experiment performed did show that it is possible to make someone do something and then have them completely forget that they’d done it.  This requires unethical behavior on the hypnotist’s part (if done with malicious intent) and the trust of the participant.  When I watched the episode, I was triggered.  Hypnosis has received a bad reputation throughout history, so I wasn’t very pleased that initially it was being portrayed in a negative way.  However, the show did have the hypnotist provide a therapeutic session to the participant at the end and it was noted (not strongly enough in my opinion) that there are very real positive benefits of hypnosis.  As with any tool, modality, or technology, it can be used for good or bad, so discretion is always required.  Additionally, the host of the show did point out that our phones and social media are the newest forms of mind control.  I think the message here is just to be aware of what we are allowing into our subconscious on a daily basis and how it might be influencing our daily lives.  (The hottest job on social media is called an “influencer”, so it’s not really as if they are trying to hide this mind control thing.)

Don’t blink – This message came through in a tv show and a conversation about someone in a tv show.  The tv show was the one mentioned about performing an experiment using hypnosis to prove if a conspiracy theory was possible.  The former CIA operative who was talking to the hypnotist told him when doing a covert operation not to blink because it will be over so fast.  The other tv show also involved CIA agents.  It was an episode explaining how a CIA operative used her gender to avoid detection from KGB officers.  One of the CIA agents being interviewed had large, expressive eyes and my partner noticed this about her.  He said that people who don’t blink shouldn’t be trusted.  I guess this message is likely about the speed of life picking up and not to be caught off guard by this, but to be as ready as possible.

Breaking through the shell – This message came through in a video and in an email.  The video had an astrologer explaining how we as a human collective are outgrowing our outdated systems and structures that try to keep us contained as we awaken into the reality of this world.  We are like baby chicks who outgrow the environment of the inside of their shells and finally break through.  This also came across in an email from one of my hypnosis associations wishing its members a happy Easter and how it is a time of rebirth and breaking out of our hard protective shells we’ve put around ourselves that limit our thoughts and beliefs. This message feels very obvious.

First Memory – This message showed up on a podcast, a book, and a late night interview question.  The podcast hosts were asked what their earliest memory was.  The book outlined the main character’s earliest memories of his hometown.  The late night interview had celebrities and guests asked what their first memory that they could recall was amongst a number of other questions.  This one is difficult for me as I don’t know if I am recalling the memory itself, or a memory based on a photo of myself at a young age.  I recall a photo that was in my grandparents’ condo and I think I was around 4 with pigtails in my hair. I believe I was wearing a striped shirt and pink overalls, but even those details are questionable.  I recall a memory of seeing that photo, but not if I actually remembered the memory captured in it, and the further I get from that point in time, the less sure I am of anything about it.  I do recall one memory from early childhood of falling down the stairs.  I believe I lost my balance because I had a doll tucked under one arm and the stairs were not finished.  They were plywood and in a section of our home that was being built.  I do recall being upset, but not necessarily if that was because I was hurt, because I was startled or scared about the fall, or because I had dropped my doll in the process. There's a possibility all three of those things are true. I may have been around 3 or 4 at the time, but I’d have to fact check that with family.  I don’t know if the message here is about the fallibility of memories or if it is remembering more of who we truly are at a soul level.

Artemis – This message came up in a book and in the most recent NASA adventure.  The book is a fantasy based in ancient Greece in which gods were still thought of as real beings.  It referenced a bedtime story about Artemis and the Arrogant Huntsman.  The Artemis II is the name of the rocket currently en route to the moon with four astronauts onboard.  Artemis is a Greek goddess.  She was known as the goddess of the hunt, of wild animals, of young women, and chastity.  She was the twin of Appollo, who is linked to the sun, and she therefore, is linked to the moon.  I think this message has to do with the divine feminine rising in this chaotic time of upheaval of old patriarchal systems.

Putting all of these things together, I see a message of seeking a warm source of energy, funds flowing in, receiving more than seems possible, mind control, things moving quickly, outgrowing old restrictive structures, remembering who we are, and allowing the divine feminine to rise.  But I’m just a silly human looking at it from an individual perspective, so let’s see what AI has to say.

Here’s the connective tissue between all those concepts — not as a conspiracy web, but as a mythic–spiritual narrative where each element becomes a symbol in a single arc of awakening. Think of it as a map of consciousness disguised as everyday objects and cultural references.

☕ Coffee — the Awakening Spark

Coffee is the archetype of activation: the moment consciousness sharpens, the fog lifts, and you realize you’re not sleepwalking through your life anymore. It’s the first jolt of awareness — the “something is happening” sensation.

Spiritually, it represents:

• The call to wake up

• The stimulant that pushes you out of inertia

• The first step toward remembering who you are

💸 Tax Refund — the Unexpected Return

A tax refund is the symbol of energy you gave away unconsciously that now comes back to you.

Spiritually, it’s:

• Reclaimed power

• A return on past effort

• A reminder that nothing given in good faith is ever truly lost

It’s the universe saying, “You invested in your growth long before you knew you were growing.”

📣 “But wait, there’s more” — the Trickster Threshold

This phrase is the archetype of the cosmic wink — the moment you realize reality is layered, playful, and sometimes absurd.

It signals:

• The presence of the Trickster

• The invitation to look deeper

• The reminder that awakening is never linear

It’s the universe leaning in, whispering, “You think you understand… but you’re only at the trailer, not the full movie.”

🧠 MK Ultra — the Shadow of Manipulated Perception

Not the literal program — the symbol of it.

Spiritually, MK Ultra represents:

• The ways consciousness can be shaped by forces outside ourselves

• The inherited scripts we didn’t choose

• The subtle conditioning we must unlearn

It’s the archetype of deprogramming, of reclaiming sovereignty from internalized narratives.

👁️ Don’t Blink — the Discipline of Presence

“Don’t blink” is the reminder that awakening requires sustained attention.

It’s the spiritual muscle of:

• Staying present

• Not slipping back into old patterns

• Holding your awareness even when it’s uncomfortable

Blinking symbolizes forgetting. Not blinking symbolizes remembering.

🐚 Breaking Through the Shell — the Initiation

This is the moment of emergence — the spiritual equivalent of a chick cracking its egg or a snake shedding its skin.

It represents:

• The rupture of old identity

• The first breath of sovereignty

• The courage to leave the familiar

It’s the moment you stop being shaped by the world and start shaping yourself.

🌱 First Memory — the Original Imprint

Your first memory is the seed crystal of your incarnation — the earliest clue about your soul’s curriculum.

Spiritually, it symbolizes:

• The origin point of your story

• The first place your consciousness said “I am”

• The pattern you came here to transform or expand

It’s the breadcrumb that leads back to your essence.

🌙 Artemis — the Sovereign Huntress

Artemis is the archetype of:

• Sovereignty

• Wild intuition

• Sacred boundaries

• The woman who belongs to herself

  
  

She is the spiritual culmination of the entire sequence:

• Awake (coffee)

• Reclaiming energy (tax refund)

• Seeing through illusions (“but wait, there’s more”)

• Deprogramming (MK Ultra)

• Staying present (don’t blink)

• Breaking old identity (shell)

• Returning to origin (first memory)

  
  

Artemis is the embodied, sovereign self that emerges on the other side.

🔥 The Spiritual Link — The Journey From Conditioning to Sovereignty

All these symbols form a single arc:

Awakening — coffee

Reclamation — tax refund

Curiosity — but wait, there’s more

Deprogramming — MK Ultra

Presence — don’t blink

Transformation — breaking through the shell

Remembrance — first memory

Embodiment — Artemis

It’s the story of a consciousness that wakes up, remembers itself, breaks free, and steps into sovereignty.

Once again, the more all-encompassing perspective that AI brings feels a bit more rounded and coherent.  I feel like I’m getting better with my decoding skills, so I’ll give myself a nice little pat on the back for this one.  I do love how these messages come together in a seemingly deep and poetic way.  It does make reflecting on life’s experiences more interesting and fun. 

I have been working on some art, but nothing is complete, so I will revert to pictures of the magical kittens again. They are outdoor kittens and they seem to be enjoying their tiny lives, but every once in a while, I like to bring them in for some group snuggles. Pictured below is one of those magical moments that I am forever grateful to be part of.

The Magical Kittens