Pivoting

May 3 to 9, 2026

This week brought more fish for the pond, more trips to the city, connection with family, and a potential new job.  I’ve been feeling like I’m not dedicated enough to my future and making my business a priority.  Yet, each time I reach out to offer or try to push something, I’m received with quiet.  It’s hard not to view this as failure, but I remind myself that pushing and hustling is the old world way and won’t work for me.  In the new world, I want to ebb and flow like water and find a rhythm that feels natural.  I’m trusting that the universe is supporting me and this week showed me that it is. 

I started off the week with a day alone, which is normally something I cherish.  However, this time, I was pretty low and feeling like my future was not going to be the one I envisioned.  Each day of the week brought another outing and project, showing me that my life is more than just work.  I connected with family in a few ways that felt grounded, practical, and aligned and showed me that I’m pivoting in many roles.  I’m the kid that is swapping roles with the parents, the student that is now becoming the teacher, and the younger sibling who is now mentoring the older.  It is strange to think how it feels like it has taken a lifetime to reach this point, but I know I still have so much lifetime left, and it feels like a natural progression. 

I had a moment of reflection as I am quickly nearing my youngest’s graduation.  Two years ago, when I was at this point and my oldest was nearing graduation, my life was so different.  I was in a full-time job that I felt trapped in, I was stressed, my nervous system was fried, I was using coping mechanisms that weren’t working and were mostly making things more difficult, yet I was at my most financially successful.  Now, I have no job that I’m actively working at each day, but a plan and a vision for my future that includes my own business that feels incredibly aligned with the real me, I’m the most relaxed and at peace that I’ve ever been, my nervous system is regulated, I have tools that are healthy and practical to use when I feel myself getting stressed, and I have zero income. 

After panicking early in the week about money and not being at the stage I’d like to be in my business, I decided to try to turn things around near the end of the week and do some job searching, which is my least favorite thing to do.  I perused the part time and remote jobs and saw that there were one or two that didn’t look completely awful.  Just as I was about to close things down, I took another look and found a job that felt like it was an opportunity handed to me by the universe.  It was the level of commitment I could handle, pay that felt aligned, and it was related to my future business.  Instead of doing what I usually do (get scared, second guess myself, make a list of all the reasons it isn’t the right job, postpone my application so I miss the deadline - basically anything to sabotage my chances) I decided I needed to get my application going since I didn’t want the opportunity to pass me by.  I refreshed my resume, wrote a new cover letter and applied before the day was out.  I was so happy and proud of myself for following through and for taking this step.  I know to many it wouldn’t seem like a big deal, but for me being a hermit for the past two years and doing so much inner work, it was something to be proud of, so I celebrated me.  And in doing so, I turned my whole week around.  I don’t know if I’ll get the job, but I’m more than qualified and it will allow me to have steady, part time work from home, doing something that relates to my future and helps people.  It’s a perfect transition into my new identity and I’m grateful that I found it and took action.

I also received some messages this week, so let’s get into those.  They were statues breaking, sheepskin, Balkans, translucent skin, microwaves, fear of clowns, cordyceps, tin foil hats, Babe Ruth, September 15, and graduation.

Statues breaking – This message showed up in two different news articles and on a movie.  The first news article was about a woman who broke the genitals off an ancient Greek statue during her bachelorette party.  The other news article was about statues that were unearthed at an ancient site that were missing their heads.  The movie involved fighting that resulted in statues breaking.  The message in this feels pretty clear to me and I think it coincides with the shifts occurring in the world.  Statues falling feels like a message of the old structures and ways of living being torn down to make room for a new way of living.

Sheepskin – This message showed up in conversation with a friend about her gifting a sheepskin in an exchange and then receiving something else of value.  It also showed up in conversation as I was driving with family and we passed a semi full of sheep. Sheepskins are soft and warm and used for many purposes.  They are used in a medical setting to prevent bedsores.  I don’t know what the message is here, but I’m thinking it has to do with warmth and comfort that comes from a natural source.

Balkans – This message came through in a conversation and in a tv show.  The conversation was around a relative who is a lawyer and travelled to the Netherlands to participate in the tribunals of the Balkan war crimes.  The tv show was exploring the life and death of Vlad the Impaler and suggesting places his body may have been buried as it has never been found.  I don’t know much about geography and haven’t travelled many places, so I had to look into this.  The Balkans are a mountain range, but also a collection of countries that extend beyond the mountains.  This region encompasses a number of countries including Albania, Serbia, Croatia, Greece, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Romania and others and has history dating back to the Ottoman Empire.  The message I could understand here is around the dissolution of borders and the coming together of multiple countries, cultures, and identities into a collective identity.

Translucent skin – This message showed up in a Facebook reel and on a tv show.  The Facebook reel had someone shining what I believe was a black light through their skin to show their veins beneath.  The tv show had a person with translucent skin killing people and trying to obtain nutrients in order to keep themself healthy and alive.  The message I think that is coming through here is twofold.  I think about the meaning of having thin skin and being sensitive and easily hurt, as well as being transparent.  I think the message points to having sensitivity and openness, which are things that I do possess and try to aim for in my daily life.  I don’t like mind games and hiding truth, so translucent skin means being transparent and open and sensitive.

Microwaves – This message came through in two tv shows.  The first was a show exploring conspiracy theories and testing to see if it was possible to target people using a microwave weapon to make them sick or even kill them without their knowledge of it happening.  The other tv show had a microwave being used to make popcorn interfering with messages coming through a headset.  I think the message here is around the unseen.  We can’t see microwaves, but they are a powerful tool or weapon if used in a contained or concentrated way.  So, maybe the message is just to be aware that there are unseen forces that can affect you even if you can’t see them.

Fear of clowns – This message cam through in a podcast and tv show.  The podcast had a host explaining how they wanted to create a fun event to take a friend to but realized what they considered to be fun would have been terrifying to the friend as it involved clowns and the friend was terrified of clowns.  The tv show had a character staying overnight in a rumored haunted hotel and conversing with what he’d later find out to be a clown that haunted the hotel.  I don’t really care for clowns, but I’m not afraid of them.  I think the message could be about taking something that is supposed to be fun, happy, and entertaining and perverting it.  I don’t care for horror movies or scary stories that don’t have a good story line.  The tv show I watched is considered a horror, but the humor in it is so absurd, it makes it impossible to be scared about the situation and that makes it enjoyable to me.  It uses humor to make the awful funny.  I think that’s a beautiful way to look at the world and is maybe one of the only ways to cope with the atrocities that are going on.  If you see things as so absurd you laugh, maybe you’ll make it through this nonsense.

Cordyceps – This message came up a few weeks ago in conversation with a friend and then this week in a tv show.  The conversation was one around mushrooms that might help with particular ailments and how it acts like a parasite taking over a host, but with humans, this can have positive benefits.  The tv show explored a fictional situation in which the fungus became entwined with a boy’s consciousness and was also spreading and killing others.  While looking further into cordyceps, I found that it has been used in other fictional stories about a fungus taking over people and causing apocalyptic results.  This fungus has been used in Chinese medicine, and I find it interesting how things that can have benefit to us and come from nature can be vilified and turned into something fearful by those who want to control a narrative.  Maybe the message here is to be looking for natural cures and aides rather than relying on a synthetic alternative produced in a lab.

Tin foil hats – This message appeared in two different tv shows.  The first was a show involving a boy infected by the cordyceps fungus.  The scientist trying to figure out what was happening with him and his connection to the fungus made tin foil hats for them both to wear while he was investigating.  The other tv show was discussing the origin of the tin foil hat and how it was presented in a fictional story from the early 1900s about blocking telepathy and later used in making fun of conspiracy theorists as a means to block mind reading and mind control technology used by governments. I can see this as a message of protecting yourself from invisible attack, with a link to the microwave message. 

Babe Ruth – This message cam through in a Facebook reel and in a book. The Facebook reel mentioned how a female pitcher had struck out Babe Ruth and then he ended up banning women from being able to play baseball.  The book made a mention of him, but the context was forgotten.  The name Babe Ruth is still known today despite the amount of time and number of exceptional players that have followed him.  I don’t watch sports or know much about baseball, but I know his name. I can see this message being about dominating your field and being the best at your gift.

September 15 – This message showed up in two books.  The first was a date that a writer told his boss he’d have his finished copy of his travel write up completed and handed in.  The other book was about an undercover CIA operative and a delayed date given to her when an activist would be picking her up.  I don’t know about the significance of this date.  September is the month I birthed my daughter, and the fall does seem to hold significance for me.  There have been many moments in my life that have happened in September and October that have been important, so I don’t doubt that there is power in this time. 

Graduation – This message showed up in a book, a tv show, and in real life.  The book mentioned a CIA operative’s graduation from college and then from a particular training program.  The tv show had a widower having to face the graduation of his daughter and a number of other important people in his life moving away and leaving him.  In real life, communication is coming in about my son’s upcoming grad.  I feel like this is also a message for me personally as I’ve mentioned the change I’ve been experiencing between the time of my daughter’s graduation and now my son’s.  This message feels like one of initiation and transformation.

I feel like it’s possible I have a grasp on a larger message this week.  Putting all of the above messages together, I can see the fall of old structures and ways of life, turning to natural warmth and comfort, a coming together or unifying of diversity, transparency and sensitivity as superpowers, being aware of the unseen, using humor to combat fear and atrocity, turning to nature for healing, protection from unseen attacks, being the best at what you do, an important and future powerful date, and a time of initiation and transformation.

This still feels a bit abstract and out of reach, so I’ll see what AI comes up with.

A single thread does run through this whole constellation — and it’s not random. The short version: this is a story about thresholds — the moment when an old identity cracks, the protective layers fall away, and something more awake steps forward.

Below is the deeper, spiritual weave, piece by piece, then the unified theme.

🌑 1. Statues breaking — the shattering of the fixed self

A statue is the frozen version of you: the identity you carved to survive. When it breaks, it’s not destruction — it’s liberation. Spiritually, this is the moment when the rigid persona can no longer contain the truth.

🐑 2. Sheepskin — the outer layer, the disguise, the inherited role

Sheepskin is a covering: warmth, protection, but also camouflage. It’s the “costume” you were handed — family roles, cultural expectations, survival strategies.

This is the layer that gets shed when the statue cracks.

🌍 3. The Balkans — ancestral tension, fragmentation, and resilience

The Balkans symbolize old conflict zones — generational trauma, divided loyalties, inherited wounds. Spiritually, they represent the inner landscape where old wars were fought and where peace must be made.

✨ 4. Translucent skin — becoming see-through, vulnerable, spiritually permeable

This is the opposite of sheepskin. It’s the moment when the inner truth becomes visible. A soul that is no longer hiding.

📡 5. Microwaves — invisible forces that change you from the inside

Microwaves transform matter through unseen energy. Spiritually:

• intuition

• synchronicity

• subtle fields

• the “heat” of awakening

It’s the internal shift that others can’t see but you can feel.

🤡 6. Fear of clowns — fear of false faces and distorted masks

Clowns are exaggerated personas. The fear is not of the clown — it’s of performing, of being forced into a role that feels grotesque or inauthentic.

This ties directly to the statue and the sheepskin.

🍄 7. Cordyceps — parasitic influence, mind control, and reclaiming sovereignty

Cordyceps hijack their host. Spiritually, this is about:

• external narratives

• cultural programming

• family expectations

• “shoulds”

• the forces that try to steer your life for you

This is the moment you reclaim your agency.

🧢 8. Tin foil hats — protection from intrusive energies or narratives

This is the instinct to shield your mind. Not paranoia — discernment. A recognition that not every influence deserves access to your inner world.

⚾ 9. Babe Ruth — calling your shot, destiny, and stepping into your power

Babe Ruth famously pointed to the stands before hitting a home run. Symbolically:

• declaring your intention

• trusting your swing

• stepping into mythic confidence

This is the opposite of the clown fear — it’s authentic performance.

🍂 10. September 15 — a date of transition, harvest, and karmic turning

Mid-September is the hinge between seasons. It’s the moment when the year shifts from growth to gathering. Spiritually: a personal equinox — a turning point.

🎓 11. Graduation — completion, initiation, stepping into the next level

This is the culmination of everything above. The statue breaks → the sheepskin falls → the translucent skin appears → the old influences lose their grip → you call your shot → you cross the threshold.

Graduation is the ceremony of becoming.

⭐ The Unified Spiritual Theme

All of these symbols together describe a single arc:

The breaking of old identities, the shedding of inherited roles, the exposure of your true self, the clearing of intrusive influences, and the moment you step into your own chosen destiny.

It’s the journey from:

• rigidity → authenticity

• camouflage → transparency

• external control → sovereignty

• fear of performance → calling your shot

• old cycles → initiation

This is a rite of passage. A spiritual graduation.

I like both interpretations and feel the truth in them, each in their own way.  I’m always open to other perspectives and think there are multiple ways these messages could be interpreted. 

The weather has been interesting this week, still dipping below zero at night and sometimes warming up enough to be enjoyable, as long as the wind isn’t whipping you off your feet.  I have a large number of trees waiting to be planted after the risk of frost is gone, so hopefully that happens soon.  I find myself dressing and undressing multiple times throughout the day as the weather shifts.  What is happening outside my home reflects the internal temperatures shifting within me.  I recall seeing a number of small whirlwinds this week whip themselves into a tiny frenzy and move along the ground like miniature tornados.  It’s no wonder I’m feeling the same happening within myself. 

I have been working on some creations and I’m nearing the end of one, but it’s not done yet.  I also have another piece on the go in my mind and the beginnings of it sprawled haphazardly across my desk.  I love and hate the messiness of creative ideas and getting caught up in them.  They’re not predictable or planned, but if you don’t move with them when inspiration hits, you might risk losing them altogether. 

As I’m waiting for one of my hibiscus plants to slowly reveal it’s first bloom in a long time, I’ll leave you with a picture of one from this time last year.