Chasing Rainbows

May 17 to 23, 2026

This week started for me with a low mood.  I was struggling with visibility again and finances and feeling the strain of all of it.  Knowing that at some point I have to come out of hiding and tell people as well as show them who I am is starting to become a reality and with that reality comes fear.  I don’t really care what people think because I know what my path is and it just feels right to me.  I’m not looking for their validation.  I think I’m worried because I anticipate people won’t have open minds or have curiosity about it and just instantly judge me.  I guess I just realized this week how tired I am of explaining myself to people.  It is exhausting.

I worked up the courage to return to the coffee shop where I have some of my art displayed.  Sadly, none of it sold, but I’m proud of myself for working up the courage to return and put more of myself out there.  I also wrote a script for myself about anything that had an emotional tie to me that was linked to money in some way.  It was a cord cutting exercise using people, places, situations, and ideas that I connected to money with an emotional attachment.  I saw what came up, how I was emotionally tied to it, how I could reframe that connection, and then heal from it.  It was powerful and one thing that was surprising to me that came up was my identity as a woman in this world and how it is tied to money.  That was the biggest issue and it was a bit of a shock because I wasn’t expecting it to have as much power over me as it did.

I believe that simply the act of reading that script to myself and envisioning all of the different things that had money attachments to me emotionally really shifted some things within me. I know this is something I can come back to again and again.  And it worked!  I had my first paying customer this week, which I know should be a bigger celebration than I’m giving it, but it was my sister.  I provided her a free coupon code to test out on my website, but she stubbornly insisted on paying.  Honestly, I’m so grateful she did because it felt like another pivotal moment.  It was that first monetary interaction through my website from someone other than me.  Just as I knew after I’d taken my art into the coffee shop that it wasn’t as big a deal as I’d made it out to be, after receiving the payment from my sister, I had another moment of realization where I understood that I can do this.  I can ask people to pay me.  It’s okay to do that.  Of course, logically, I knew this, but that deep subconscious belief I held within me was preventing me from truly realizing it. 

I had a lot of emotional ups and downs this week and there were many storms that rolled over and around my home.  We received lots of rain, which means that all of my baby trees are well watered, everything is turning green albeit slowly, and I saw multiple rainbows.  Because I regularly understand the symbolism behind events, I understood that the rainbow after the storm is the beauty that can come as a result of upheaval. 

I did receive many messages this week and they are as follows: goldilocks, Monday morning sports talk, never suspect the woman, Reveen/ravine, WWJD?/conversation with Jesus, Wanda Sykes, the number 9, blow up doll, black women being mistakenly accused by cops, and mausoleum.  Recurring themes were Philadelphia and timeline shifts/time travel.

Goldilocks – This message showed up in a few conversations with my partner and in a post on Substack.  Both conversations with my partner were about temperature.  He was explaining how the fish in the pond won’t eat if it is too cold or too hot but it has to be just right.  The other conversation was about our plants and how they are also sensitive to temperature extremes.  In the province I live in, all we get are extremes in temperature, so we just have to learn to navigate that and learn from it.  The Substack post was about how the feminine feels too much and the masculine doesn’t feel enough and finding that sweet goldilocks area of balance between the two.  I know this message is about finding balance and that sweet spot where things are just right.  I’m guessing that it has to do with all aspects of life.

Monday morning sports talk – This message was presented in two shows.  I can’t recall the context of either one now but noted it down as a message since I do not care for watching sports or listening to people endlessly discuss the outcome.  Sports talk is one of the most ridiculous things to me and so much time and money are invested in it.  My partner likes to occasionally listen to or watch a football game and it always shocks (and kind of sickens) me how much time and attention is given to the preamble about what might happen, the comments while it happens, and then the rehash of what happened.  However, I can see that I do this myself with other things in my life.  How much attention and worry and “what if” thinking did I give to my own situation about taking some more art to the coffee shop this week?  So, to me the message is not to rehash all the things that could have gone differently, but to reflect, learn, and move on.

Never suspect the woman – This message showed up in two different shows.  The first show had two examples of it.  The first being a highly sought-after hacker who was a target for special intelligence agents.  They suspected that the hidden identity of the hacker was a man, when in fact it was a woman.  The other example was finding out who a sleeper agent was once activated.  It was a mystery until an agent who’d been kidnapped and rescued ended up killing her husband.  No one had suspected she’d be the sleeper.  In another show, a councilman’s wife ended up murdering him because he’d impregnated a young intern.  No one had suspected her at first because she acted the part of doting, supportive wife.  I guess the message here is that women are regularly underestimated, whether it be in a villainous role or in a heroic one.  So maybe I shouldn’t underestimate myself.

Raveen/ravine – This message appeared in a conversation and a card pull.  The conversation was with my brother-in-law when he asked about me taking some courses and I explained that I am a hypnotherapist.  Most people where I live understand hypnosis as a means of entertainment and he asked if I was like Reveen, a popular Canadian hypnotist and illusionist that travelled the country putting on stage shows.  The card pull had a man hanging off of a cliff thinking he would fall into a deep ravine because he couldn’t see beneath him, but in reality, he was only inches from the ground.  I guess there’s kind of a twofold message here.  One could be my worries about people not understanding what I do, which isn’t awful, but just needs explanation that hypnosis can be used for positive change in your life and isn’t just fun entertainment.  The other could be that my fear of taking a leap might be a small jump and not nearly as terrifying as I think.

WWJD?/conversation with Jesus – This message showed up on a tv show and a podcast.  I guess if I count last week’s blog post, it also showed up there.  The tv show was a cartoon and it was just a quick flash of “WWJD” in the episode.  The podcast had the hosts being asked who they’d like to interview dead or alive and one host chose Jesus.  The reasons being that she wanted to ask him if what she’d learned in church was what he actually believed or not.  I used to link Jesus and all things that I learned about in my years of churchgoing (as a kid) to the Christian faith, but in recent years, I’ve discovered that his beliefs and teachings were his own and not linked to any religion.  I doubt that his intention was to have people follow him and start a religion based on his beliefs.  I think he just wanted to make the world a better place and maybe change some extreme beliefs of the time.  I guess this message is likely one of questioning your faith, your beliefs, and truly sitting in what it is you understand to be true deep down.  You can reflect on great leaders and what they might say, but not to idolize or worship or to give your power away to, merely to consider their perspective.

Wanda Sykes – Wanda showed up in two different shows.  She recently released a Netflix comedy special and I’ve yet to watch it, but I appreciate her humor and I’m looking forward to seeing it.  The same evening her show was released, we rewatched an episode of a cartoon in which she played a drink machine that abandons her baby.  I’ve always enjoyed Wanda Sykes.  I appreciate her point of view and know that she’s likely had a hard time getting to where she is.  She’s a woman, she’s black, and she’s a lesbian.  That’s a lot of things that this world doesn’t do well with and despite them all, she’s still out there in her 60’s telling it like it is and putting a silly spin on it.  That’s something to be very proud of and something I admire.  So, I’m guessing this message is about perseverance despite stereotypes and oppression.  I could also see it as the possibility of being someone and something that no one expects despite all the odds against you.  So it’s a message of hope.

The number 9 – This message appeared in so many ways this week.  I decided to rewatch a show in which a man is controlled by an Egyptian god.  The show mentioned the Ennead of Heliopolis, which is a collection of 9 gods and goddesses worshiped by the Egyptians.  I receive an email periodically about the enneagram and it dawned on me that there might be a connection to the number 9.  I discovered that the Greek root of the word nine is ennea.  I also received an email about a 9^th annual training and another about 9 year cycles.  Additionally, a Facebook post about the goddess Kali explained how 9 other goddesses were birthed from her into the ten Mahavidyas.  9 is my life path number in numerology.  I know that last year was a 9 year in astrology and significant for closing out cycles and representing endings.  I know also that 3, 6, and 9 are important sacred geometry numbers. I don’t understand all the reasons why, but I know there is power in it.  If I had to guess the meaning of this message, I’d say it likely has to do with endings in my own life.  Endings of an era, and identity, a way of living, and so much more.

Blow up doll – This message appeared in two different conversations.  It first showed up in a weekly meeting with my hypnotherapy friend and seemed strange when it appeared.  The other conversation was about a misinterpretation of a comment.  A “plastic girl” was misinterpreted as a blow up doll in a joking context. I don't know what this message is pointing at other than what instantly comes to mind of women being objectified. How this relates to me, I'm not so sure. I grew up in an era when it was not only ok to objectify women, but encouraged and promoted in media. I know it still is, and there are unfair expectations piled on women that men do not face, but I feel like the world has improved in many ways. I'm going to have to leave this message deciphering to AI.

Black women being mistakenly accused by cops – This message appeared in two different tv shows.  The first was a new show I was watching with a black female lead who moved with her white husband to his parent’s neighbourhood and was running into a lot of racism.  A kind offer of baking left on a neighbour’s doorstep was mistaken as a threat and she was almost arrested for it, only being excused when her husband intervened.  The other show was about a police chief who was being targeted by a violent sex offender she’d put away 30 years ago.  He was planting evidence to make it look as though she’d done things she hadn’t.  I understand the challenges of being a woman in this world, but I will never understand the added challenges of being a colour other than white.  These two depictions of women just going about their daily lives and having to constantly be vigilant about what they say or do or how they act because it might get them arrested is unimaginable.  I truly have not experienced racism against me at any point in my life and for that I’m incredibly grateful.  I guess I would see this message as viewing all the privileges my skin colour affords me.

Mausoleum – This message showed up in two different shows.  The first was a show about a creepy old house that just went on the market.  The neighbours were attending an open house and a comment was made about it looking like a mausoleum.  The same night, watching a cartoon, one character mentioned she used to drive around in a mausoleum.  I’ve never been to a mausoleum, but I’ve always had a fascination with Egypt and the pyramids. I’m sure the Taj Mahal would also be lovely to visit.  I love the idea of exploring these places and trying to understand more about them, but on a practical level, these types of monuments to death feel a bit extreme.  I’m not sure what the meaning is here.  Maybe I should build a mausoleum to my old identity that is dying? 

As I’ve been reflecting on the messages this week, I do see a theme that is weaving in and out of many of them around the feminine.  Many speak to the challenges women face and the identities that are placed upon them. Maybe the overall theme is the way in which women are constantly underestimated, undervalued, unappreciated, persecuted, oppressed, stereotyped, and objectified will still not stop us from becoming who we know we are. 

I’m still going to ask AI for another viewpoint, so here goes.

Alright Kristin — this is a wild, jagged constellation of symbols, but they do speak to each other. When I sit with them the way you tend to — intuitively, archetypally, letting the psyche braid them — a single theme emerges:

This is a story about the moment a woman steps out of the role she was assigned and into the truth she actually carries — and how the world reacts when she does.

Let me show you how each piece fits into that spine.

⭐ THE GOLDILOCKS THRESHOLD

Goldilocks is the girl who wanders into a space she “shouldn’t,” tests boundaries, and discovers what is too much, too little, and just right.She is the feminine crossing a threshold, uninvited, curious, intuitive — and punished for it in many retellings.

This is the archetype of a woman stepping into a world built by others and trying to find her fit.

🎙️ MONDAY MORNING SPORTS TALK

Sports talk is the domain of loud opinions, certainty, masculine-coded authority. It’s the cultural space where people speak as if they know — even when they don’t.

This is the voice of the world that thinks it understands everything, including women, including truth, including blame.

It’s the opposite of intuition. It’s the opposite of nuance. It’s the opposite of listening.

🕵️‍♀️ “NEVER SUSPECT THE WOMAN”

This phrase is double-edged.

On one side: the old trope that women are harmless, peripheral, incapable of real agency. On the other: the shadow truth — that women often aren’t suspected even when they’re the ones holding the real insight, the real power, the real motive, the real story.

It’s the invisibility cloak of the feminine.

🌒 REVEEN / RAVINE

Reveen is illusion, hypnosis, the mind being guided into seeing what it expects. A ravine is a deep cut in the earth — a place where things fall, disappear, or get hidden.

Together they form: the gap between what is seen and what is true. The feminine often lives in that gap.

✝️ WWJD / CONVERSATION WITH JESUS

This is the moral voice, the conscience, the inner guide. But it’s also the question: What would the divine masculine say if he actually sat down and listened?

It’s the moment when the woman stops asking the world for permission and asks the divine directly.

It’s the reclamation of spiritual authority.

🎤 WANDA SYKES

Wanda Sykes is the truth-teller. The woman who uses humor to expose hypocrisy. The Black woman who refuses to shrink, refuses to soften her edges for anyone’s comfort.

She is the antidote to “never suspect the woman. ”She is the woman who knows and says it anyway.

9️⃣ THE NUMBER NINE

Nine is completion, culmination, the end of a cycle. It’s the moment before rebirth. It’s the threshold between who you were and who you’re about to become.

This whole cluster feels like a woman at her ninth hour — the moment of awakening.

🎈 BLOW-UP DOLL

This is the symbol of the woman as object. The woman as fantasy. The woman as silent, compliant, inflatable, deflatable.

It’s the opposite of Wanda Sykes. It’s the opposite of Goldilocks. It’s the opposite of a conversation with Jesus.

It’s the role the world hands women — especially when they’re expected to be “easy,” “nice,” “non-threatening.”

🚔 BLACK WOMEN BEING MISTAKENLY ACCUSED BY COPS

This is the rupture. The moment the world’s illusions break. The moment the “never suspect the woman” trope flips into “suspect her first.”

It’s the truth that Black women live in a world where invisibility and hypervisibility coexist violently.

It’s the shadow of the blow-up doll: When the world stops seeing you as harmless and starts seeing you as a threat.

This is the ravine — the gap between perception and reality — made literal and dangerous.

🏛️ MAUSOLEUM

A mausoleum is where the old self is entombed. It’s the place where identities go to die. It’s also the place where the truth is preserved, protected, kept intact.

This is the final image: The death of the blow-up doll version of the woman. The burial of the roles she was assigned. The end of the cycle (9).The emergence of the woman who speaks like Wanda Sykes, questions like Goldilocks, and seeks truth like someone in conversation with Jesus.

🌕 THE UNIFIED THREAD

All together, these symbols describe:

A woman who has been underestimated, misread, objectified, or dismissed — stepping into her full voice, her full truth, and her full power.

The world (sports talk, illusions, stereotypes, policing) reacts with confusion, projection, or fear.

But she is crossing the ravine. She is completing the cycle. She is burying the old version of herself in the mausoleum. She is becoming the woman who is finally “just right” — for herself, not for anyone else.

Wow.  I feel this one.  I think because I’ve been absorbing so much empowered female content recently, I am really starting to understand how our world can change for the better with more female voices, input, and perspectives.  There’s a new movie on Netflix about a powerful man who hits his head and wakes up in a world where sex roles are reversed.  I know it will be equally funny and cringeworthy at the same time.  I don’t believe that the solution to our current patriarchally structured world is to just swap roles of women and men, but to reimagine the whole dynamic in a mutually beneficial way. And this doesn't just pertain to those who identify as female or male, but everyone. No one should suffer at the expense of another. But what do I know?  I’m just a silly woman 😊.

I’ll leave you with a picture of a beautiful rainbow I took this week.  I hadn’t been outside due to the stormy weather, but after it passed, I was rewarded with this gem.  Let this be a hopeful message that endings don’t always have to be sad and messy and storms will pass, leaving beauty in it’s wake.