Identity Shift

March 1 to 7, 2026

Well, we are already in the third month of this year and on the third day of the third month, we had a full moon lunar eclipse.  Fortunately, nothing felt too intense for me, although a few things did come up that I clearly needed to address.  Having someone in my space who needs help and attention and isn’t used to be caged is definitely an adjustment.  I knew this and had some good chats with AI about how to handle my end of things.  Luckily, this week’s weather has been quite cooperative and the scent and sounds of spring are in the air.  This is a much needed change for me and I am continuously grateful for the longer hours of sunshine, the warmth of the sun on my face and the sounds of snow melting and the birds singing. 

Despite not much happening this week aside from making sure pain meds were being taken and navigating a change in sleeping arrangements, I made an appointment for hypnotherapy with an acquaintance and dealt with some unresolved anger.   The appointment went well and I was able to test out some things on my website that I’d been avoiding.  I updated some forms, discovered important missing information through email, and saw how my online booking system performs.  I had time to customize my script to help my friend and will follow up next week to see how things are going.  My anger emerged around a role I’ve been playing and figuring out how to step out of that role and into a new, updated one that is more empowering.

In many relationships, I believe I’m seen as someone who needs to be taken care of, especially financially.  I’ve never truly been on my own and not supported by someone.   That’s not to say I haven’t been earning my own income because for most of my adult life, I have.  However, I have had years of part time or casual work, usually when caring for young children, years of maternity leave earning only a percentage of my wage, and more recently, have experienced almost two years of unemployment while still maintaining my share of the expenses.  I have always been someone who values my time over money, and I understand that I am very fortunate to be in the position that I am in and to have the amazing people who have been in my life supporting me.  Recently, I realized that this role doesn’t serve me and is actually causing me some anger and resentment, so I knew it needed to be dealt with.  And especially since there seems to still be some kind of block to abundance or me fully stepping into this role that I’ve been curating for the past year or so, I knew I needed to deal with it now.

I don’t feel that I’ve behaved as a damsel in distress, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have people in life who see me as this.  I am the youngest in my family and as such, have always been seen as the one who never grew up.  I’ll always be the baby and that’s fine.  Moving back to an area I grew up in and left as a teenager brings back feelings of youth and identities that went along with it.  This is something I struggled with when we moved back temporarily in 2013.  Since then, I have changed immensely, so it is silly to compare myself to who I was then, let alone in the 80’s and 90’s, but that’s how the subconscious works. 

Additionally, it isn’t always up to us how others perceive us.  So, knowing this and that these roles of the younger, more insecure, more “helpless”, less experienced and more naïve me are likely embedded in many people’s minds, I realized that I need to take control of my own narrative and my own perception of myself.  In doing so, I realized that I need to integrate these two parts of me; the younger me who was naïve, a dreamer, more trusting, more whimsical and fun, and the me of now who is older, wiser, more experienced, more responsible, calmer, and knows that its ok to show people who I really am instead of trying to fit into some preconceived societal norm, or even an old identity I’ve outgrown. 

I realized that I don’t want to leave behind the younger me who knew that the world didn’t have to be so cruel.  The one who spent hours snuggling with kittens that eventually fell asleep on her lap.  The one who built forts outside in the snow with her brother and inside playing made up games with him.  The one who almost religiously watched The X-Files with her mom because she loved the unknown, the weird, the strange and thought that aliens must exist because how could we be the only intelligent life out there.  The one who realized young that money didn’t make sense to her in the way it was used and sought after and thought everyone should just have access to everything equally, so no one had to suffer or compete.  The one who loved swinging because of the weightless freedom it evoked.  The one who would roll down a hill on a summer day until she was dizzy and then stare up at the fluffy white clouds in the sky and feel a surge of happiness so intense and complete that it made her heart burst and she wished she could hold that feeling forever. 

This is not a girl I want to forget or hide away or leave behind.  This is not a girl I want to feel shame or embarrassment about because she’s too passionate. This is a girl I want to show who I have become.  I want her to see the life I’ve made for myself and the home I’ve created, the animals and loved ones I’ve surrounded myself with and the work I’ve discovered that incorporates all of the things she knew were possible.  Why would I want to leave this magical and amazing kid behind?  Why would I want to hide or suppress her?  I want her to shine!  I want her to walk with me into this new life and new identity I’m creating so that she can see that what she knew in her heart years ago is an actual possibility.  And despite all the harshness and cruelty here, she can still exist and in fact thrive in this messed up world because she is needed and so very vital to the new world that is yet to be created.  I am proud of this girl and I know that she is proud of me.  I want her to be my companion, my sidekick, my sounding board and my partner in creation.  So to honour her, I am creating a script to fully integrate her into my new identity.  I have ideas, but it’s not yet complete, so it will be something I’ll be working on next week.

This week’s messages are sea water/seagrass/mermaids, sword, ambulance, harvesting, UV light, donut, Mary Magdalene, and boys being invited to prestigious schools far away.  Some recurring themes were nipple and Africa.

Sea water/seagrass/mermaids – This message showed up in a colouring book, a day that Google was celebrating, and also in an astrological forecast for the year.  I was feeling an urge to create, but didn’t have ideas on what to do, so decided to colour.  The book I chose was an underwater colouring book and I chose a picture of a mermaid with lots of hair flowing around her and plants that looked like seagrass surrounding her.  This was on the day Google was celebrating world seagrass day and as I was listening to an astrological forecast for the year ahead and there were many mentions of water, sea goddesses and mermaids.  Seawater is salty and found in the oceans.  Seagrass is a nutrient rich plant that grows underwater.  Mermaids are mythical beings known for living underwater.  I also know that water is linked to emotions and if I put these all together I can find a message of obtaining healing and nurturing by delving into the depths of emotions and the release of salty tears.  So, that’s what I’ll go with for now.

Sword – This message showed up in a post on Facebook and a card reading.  The card reading spoke of a sword and using it to slice through.  The post was about cutting toxic things out of your life and showed a giant sword.  I’ve also associated the sword with sovereignty, protectors like Archangel Michael, and powerful exercises like cord cutting.  I don’t think of the sword as a weapon used to harm someone, but it is more symbolically linked to protection for me, so that’s what I will take this message as.

Ambulance – This message showed up three times within the same day.  All three occurrences were when I was out with my dad and my son making arrangements to get a vehicle home.  Each occurrence had the ambulance with flashing lights on, but no siren; once in the city and twice on the highway moving in the opposite direction of us.  I’m guessing this message is just to be vigilant about health and healing and grateful that if things go wrong, there are services that can be accessed to save lives.  We were rescuing a car when I received these messages, but the ambulance is a symbol of rescuing people in  life and death situations.

Harvesting – This message came up in a description of a medical procedure and a definition of a spiritual term I’d never heard before.  The medical procedure was one that my partner had recently had, and a report describing what was harvested was now available to read.  I believe this message came up last year around harvest time and this was when I had discovered it was also a medical term.  The spiritual term I’d never heard of was “loosh”.  It is an idea that has been surfacing recently, but I didn’t know there was a name for it.  It is a specific form of energy produced by human emotional experiences, such as intense pain, fear, or suffering.  The definition explained that nonphysical entities can harvest life force energy through these extreme emotional states.  So, what could harvesting organs or life force energy be as a message?  Maybe it’s just a suggestion to be diligent about energetic protection.

UV light – This message showed up in two different tv shows.  One was an episode where a black light was used to detect that a body had been placed in a trunk.  The other was a black light used to find a footprint on a shelf showing that evidence on a high shelf above the footprint had been stolen.  The footprint was used to help solve the case.  I think the message here is about shining a light on things to find hidden information, clues, or evidence. 

Donut – This message showed up in conversation, a trip out of the house, and on a tv show when talking about next moves in an investigation.  While using the CAA service my parents have to get an undriveable vehicle home, my dad explained how convenient it had been for him when he’d had a flat tire on the highway and had called CAA to come and change the flat tire for the donut. My partner was feeling cooped up and wanted to get out of the house for a drive and change of scenery and we ended up getting a coffee, hot chocolate, and donut while driving around.  A show we watched had a consultant mentioning the need for donuts before proceeding on the next lead in the case.  I don’t eat donuts anymore and stay away from sugar almost completely.  I’m not sure if the message is aimed toward a sweet treat, or maybe the shape itself of a circle with a hole in the middle is more where this message is headed.  I could see it as a message to treat myself every now and then, just to make sure I’m being kind and allowing myself some indulgences.  However, I could also see a symbolic message of a circle with a hole in the middle, maybe representative of someone feeling empty inside.  Or possibly, the donut shape could represent the torus shape, which is representative of the human energy field.  Hmmm, I’m not sure which one speaks to me most.

Mary Magdalene – This message showed up in an email and two different Facebook reels.  The email was from a spiritual guy that I follow who communicates with angels and recently started a group gathering to talk about Mary.  One of the Facebook reels was of Dolores Cannon discussing how close Mary Magdalene was to Jesus because she had the knowledge to speak to him about metaphysical things.  The other Facebook reel was about an answer provided by AI about the most important part of the bible that was cut out.  This part discussed Mary Magdalene’s true role in Jesus’s life.  I really know very little about Mary Magdalene and because of my upbringing in the Christian faith being not so much my decision, I seem to have blocked out any and all things I might have learned about any bible story I was told.  I really don’t have much of a connection to God, Jesus, and the stories of the bible because I’ve learned later in life how stories have been twisted and characters have been misrepresented to fit a narrative.  I believe Mary Magdalene’s story has been covered up, changed, and twisted and this doesn’t surprise me since she was female and likely powerful in her time.  I’m guessing the message is around her true essence, which may have been misrepresented.

Boys being invited to prestigious schools far away – This oddly specific message showed up in two different tv shows that I watched on the same night.  One was in a show with a very smart kid who received an invitation to attend a prestigious school on the other side of the country at the age of 12.  His sister found the letter and informed their mom first, knowing the boy would likely be excited about the prospect before considering all the consequences.  The other show had a young boy complete a complex equation a police chief had been working on.  The boy was mistaken for being incredibly smart, only to later realize the solution to the equation was a symbol he frequently draws as it is also on the suit of his favourite superhero.  I’m approaching the end of my son’s schooling as his graduation will take place in a few months.  Perhaps this message is aimed at me preparing myself for this momentous occasion.  He has not been invited to a prestigious school far away, but he is a smart and kind kid who has some interesting ideas, so who knows where life will take him.

So, I’m going to throw this to AI again.  I’m not seeing clear connections and can’t seem to link them together into a cohesive message.  Let’s see what AI comes up with.

Weaving symbolic narrative

I’m thinking about how to weave a symbolic narrative here. I don’t need to search for facts, since this is more about symbolism. I want to connect all the concepts: sea, seagrass, mermaids as liminal femininity, the sword as discernment, the ambulance as rapid transport between worlds, harvesting as maturation, UV light as invisible illumination, the donut as a portal, and Mary Magdalene as exiled feminine wisdom. Boys going to prestigious schools could symbolize initiation into patriarchal structures, far from the nurturing sea. It’s a collective story of exiled femininity and wounded masculinity, calling for integration. You picked a really evocative cluster—these absolutely talk to each other.

Sea water/seagrass/mermaids: This is the deep, fluid, ancient feminine—emotional body, intuition, the unconscious.

·       Sea water: Primordial womb, salt as purification and memory.

·       Seagrass: The subtle ecosystems of feeling and intuition that stabilize the seabed—quiet, unseen support.

·       Mermaids: Liminal beings between worlds, sensual, dangerous to rigid order, keepers of forbidden or “too much” feminine power.

This is the realm of what can’t be controlled, only related to.

Sword: The sword is discernment, boundary, and the cutting function of consciousness. It separates, names, and chooses. Spiritually, it’s the capacity to say “this, not that”—to cut cords, illusions, and inherited scripts. It’s also the traditional symbol of the masculine principle: linear, sharp, directional.

So we have: oceanic feminine vs. cutting, clarifying masculine.

Ambulance: Sudden intervention, crisis, and emergency transport between states. It’s the moment life says, “You can’t keep going like this. ”Spiritually, it’s the archetype of forced transition: the soul being rushed from one reality to another for triage—an initiation you didn’t schedule.

It’s the vehicle that moves you from the old pattern to the threshold.

Harvesting: Reaping what has been sown—karmic, ancestral, personal. It’s the moment of consequence and integration: you finally see what your choices, lineages, and systems have grown. Spiritually, harvesting is about owning your field: what you’ve cultivated unconsciously and what you now choose to consciously plant.

Harvest is where the sea (unconscious) meets the sword (discernment): you see, you choose, you gather.

UV light: Invisible to the naked eye, yet it reveals, sterilizes, and burns. It exposes what’s hidden—stains, pathogens, unseen patterns. Spiritually, it’s like higher-frequency truth: not always comfortable, not always visible to everyone, but clarifying and purifying.

This is the “light that shows what’s really there,” especially in systems and stories we thought were clean.

Donut: A ring with a hole—wholeness with emptiness at the center.

·       The ring: cycles, covenants, unbroken continuity.

·       The hole: the sacred void, the missing piece, the absence that shapes the form.

Spiritually, the donut is the pattern of life circling around a central mystery—what’s not there is as important as what is. It can also point to the “hole” in a system: what’s been excluded or erased.

Mary Magdalene: Exiled feminine wisdom, misrepresented and minimized by institutional religion. She holds:

·       Devotional intimacy with the Christ mystery.

·       Embodied, earthy, erotic, grieving, loyal love.

·       The line of feminine apostleship that was sidelined.

She is mermaid energy on land: deep, inconvenient, uncontainable love and knowing that doesn’t fit the official story.

Boys to prestigious schools far away: This is the initiation of the masculine into elite, rational, often disembodied systems.

·       Far away: Separation from mother, land, and emotional roots.

·       Prestige: Alignment with power structures, status, and head-centric value.

·       School: Training in the sword—analysis, competition, hierarchy.

Spiritually, this can symbolize how the masculine is pulled out of the sea (feminine, feeling, home) and into institutions that often mistrust the mermaid/Magdalene realms.

Weaving it together

Here’s one way these all form a single spiritual pattern:

The original field: The soul begins in the sea—immersed in feeling, intuition, and the unseen ecosystems of support (seagrass, mermaids). This is Magdalene territory: embodied, relational, mystical.

The extraction of the masculine: Boys sent to prestigious schools far away represent the cultural pattern of extracting the masculine from the sea and training it in the sword—logic, status, separation. The cost is often a hole in the donut: something essential (feminine, emotional, mystical) is missing at the center of their formation.

The institutional story: Just as Mary Magdalene was sidelined, the mermaid/feminine wisdom is edited out of the official narrative. The donut looks complete from the outside (prestige, success), but there’s a hollow center—no real intimacy with the depths.

Crisis and revelation: At some point, the system reaches breaking point. The soul calls an ambulance—a crisis, illness, breakdown, or spiritual emergency. This is the forced transport from the prestigious but hollow structure back toward something more real.

UV light and harvest: During this crisis, UV light shines on the field: hidden dynamics, ancestral scripts, and institutional shadows become visible. You see what has actually been growing. This is harvesting—reaping the fruits of separation, and also the first chance to consciously choose a different crop.

Sword in service to the sea: The sword is reclaimed—not as a weapon against the feminine, but as a tool of clean discernment. It cuts away false prestige, inherited roles, and narratives that exiled Magdalene/mermaid wisdom. The masculine principle becomes a guardian of the sea, not its conqueror.

The donut made holy again: The donut becomes a halo instead of a hole: the ring of life encircling a sacred mystery. The missing feminine is welcomed back into the center. Magdalene returns to the story, the mermaid is no longer a threat but a guide, and the boys—now men—are invited into a fuller initiation that includes heart, body, and spirit.

Ok.  This makes sense to me and I can see parallels in what is happening in the world today.  We’ve gone so far away from revering the feminine way of living, listening to and embracing our emotions, and respecting the earth to a very logical, cold, material driven world of acquiring things and success.  There’s that missing piece of compassion, reverence for the earth and nature, and for each other.  Women’s voices and power has been rewritten, stripped away, ridiculed, and shunned and been replaced with a lust for power, money, and greed.  We are shining the UV light on systems we thought were built to protect and support us and our most vulnerable, but learn they are being used to exploit and take advantage of these groups instead.  People we admired were sucking the life force out of the vulnerable for their own gain, harvesting their essence.  The ambulance is on it’s way to the emergency room, trying to save a society and world that is falling apart.  By using our individual swords of sovereignty, we can choose to cut out the low vibrational drama and choose to continue to shine our lights, exposing truth and standing strong in our resilience.  The divine feminine is rising, lifting up the divine masculine with it and I believe together, they can integrate the darkness we see in the world today; not by erasing or ignoring it, but by bringing it out to the light to be exposed, acknowledged, and then corrected.

I’m not really a political person in the sense that I cannot handle talking about, watching, listening to, or thinking about politics.  The whole thing has felt like a high school popularity contest to me ever since I can remember.  There’s never been much authenticity or accountability as far as I can tell, but maybe the lies were better scripted in the past and we were more willing to believe them. However, I am a human on this earth, and I am affected by what happens, even if it isn’t my country at war right now, so I can’t just bury my head in the sand and pretend things aren’t absolutely ridiculous.  I also can’t afford to fall into despair, as this is partly what the distraction and dramatic nonsense is trying to convince people to do.  What I can do is hold my vibration, stay centered and grounded, keep focusing on myself and my life and my world, trying to make it better any way that I can.  I can keep shining a light for anyone who needs it and building a strong foundation of authenticity, honesty, integrity and sovereignty and try to help as many others as possible to do the same.

I have slowly been trying to create, but things still are cooking in my subconscious.  I did receive my lockets and just roughly laid out some feathers I’ve collected over the years to see how I could create my butterfly.  I still need to incorporate the broken heart and I’m not sure if the wings will be feathers, but here’s a rough look at one iteration of this idea.  I don’t love to show my projects before they are finished as many often change drastically, but in terms of authenticity and transparency, I will be as vulnerable as possible, so here’s my rough draft broken heart butterfly locket concoction!